A New Year

I’m not going to make resolutions because those are fake and never work. But I was thinking about something a friend said about how seldom we get chances to start afresh. I’m in nowhere the situation like what she was talking about as I don’t have the chance to just pick up and move and start life completely over.

But the freshness of the new year is exciting. And it made me think about what do I want to see out of this year ahead of me.

1. I want to see projects around the house done so I can enjoy my home more. I am coming to realize what I want isn’t in my skillset (after the weekend fiasco of trying to turn off the water to the house) but I can hire people for little projects here and there. Part of enjoying my home more will come with some better housekeeping. I have started the kids on more structured chores. There is no reason for them not to be helping more.

2. I do want to become more physically fit. I’m not sure that I can and will say that equals weight loss. But for example, I have a goal of during the next two months to get in better water drinking habits again. When my offices move to the new building this spring, we will have a workout room with equipment and I want to use those on a regular basis.

3. I am settling into a rhythm of being on my own. I like it for the most part. I like me and while I’m certainly not perfect, I’m happy with who I am and where I am in life. I have a good job that has great career potential ahead of me. The kids and I are doing ok financially (could be better if I ever saw child support but that is in process). I want to set some financial goals now that I’m getting out survival mode.

4. I want to travel some this year. I watch some of the discount airfares and want to take some weekend trips to see some of my friends. The question is, do they want me to see them? I could scare poor CMajor when I tell him it is a lifelong goal of mine to get up to the northwest…

So in a nutshell, I’m content with the path I’m on. I have some finetuning to do but I feel good about my direction in life. Last year I felt that I was just drifting and doing what I could to survive. Now I’m past that stage and can look ahead with a sense of direction and purpose. I know too many people who stay in that surviving mode and are unhappy with life. I truly believe that you have to have a sense of direction. It doesn’t mean changing your life drastically in all cases – it just means you have a plan for the long term. With that comes happiness because it gives a person a sense of control. There are a lot of things I can’t control but I feel like with my plan, I have a sense of how to get through the uncontrollable because I have that ability to see past that situation to the road ahead. Not to say next year I might be changing paths but I hope if I am, it is with a destination in mind.

Attacked out of nowhere

So on my online dating site, it is a free site so you do see all kinds of people there. Because of my job, I have chosen not to post my picture up, figuring while it isn’t against the rules, it isn’t the thing to do. I do post that I’m a few pounds overweight (true).

Today I get an email from a guy who has been on the site about as long as I have been. I should have cut and paste it because it was really out of left field. But basically it said “A few pounds means you’re a fattie. You don’t have your picture up because you are ugly. Your profile is boring and unoriginal. Who are you to be picky? You have been on this site a long time because no one wants you. You are a skank and you need to take yourself to the bars to find a drunk man. Get off of this site and quit wasting men’s time.”

Wow. Do you figure someone (not me) isn’t handling rejection well at all? I started to respond but why give the satisfaction? His profile mentions that he is into fitness and working out, so yes he isn’t attracted to overweight women. That’s fine. Everyone has their personal preferences about what is attractive and some people do put more value on the surface than what truly makes up a person (although how often are those the ones who complain how they can’t find a honest good person in their lives). I’m honest I have weight issues. I don’t claim to be average size and then surprise the poor guy at a first meet. I have pictures (less than a year old) and I usually include them in my emails with guys. Skank? No one who knows me would ever call me a skank. That’s about as far off the mark as a person can go in describing me. And yes, I don’t care who you are in this world, everyone has the right to be picky about who they want in their lives. Luckily I have a lot of self-confidence to believe despite my weight, I am deserving a good, intelligent guy who can see me for the wonderful woman I am.

And then poor Steve will be still bitter and alone in the workout room.

Bonus points

When I meet whoever meets me after I die, I want to get bonus points for all the things I wanted to say and realized I shouldn’t say, so I bit my tongue.  Damnit, I want to know I get rewarded for it somewhere somehow. 

We have a part time clerk  (thankfully he has given his notice and tomorrow is his last day) who has never realized his role in the company.  He thinks he is too good to be in the department he is assigned and has therefore tried to create a new position for himself in the office.  He thinks he is an IT genius and tried to take over the computers here.  My team has the assignment that if they ever saw him touch the servers to tackle him and call me.  He won’t eat his lunch in the cafeteria with the employees of his department, he has insisted on eating in the office breakroom.  I’m not a snob (really) but the breakroom doesn’t even have enough chairs for the people in the offices much less for him. Today I had to ask him not to lunch at the receptionist desk as it is unprofessional (besides my receptionist was still working and not on her lunch break).

So now he has screwed up and created me nightmares in my month-end and year-end books.  I emailed him regarding it and his supervisor.  I had to add the CEO and COO on the chain because of the fact that I can’t figure out what has been paid for and what hasn’t been and since his last day is tomorrow, this system structure flaw is something they need to know about.

He emailed me all kinds of crap about it but then his final sentence was

I know there isn’t going to be an “in the future,” but I would appreciate you contact me or J prior to involving the entire senior staff with these issues that, while possibly my fault or responsibility, don’t yet concern them.

Ok, but first of all, I am senior staff too and anything in this company is their business at any time. So I didn’t comment on his pissy little statement (trying to be the bigger person) and then gave him instructions on the work he needs to redo. He then emailed me that he would do the spreadsheet per J’s instructions, as though letting me know that he won’t follow my instructions.

I need to find my voodoo doll tonight and find a good strong margarita.

Trying to use new fishing gear

I changed my profile on my online dating site.  Instead of the usual boring one I went with this…

Job Description – Current opening for a Friends with Benefits position to a woman with a career and children. Position is a part time position but could potentially be of a long term duration. Hours will vary but potentially involve every other weekend and occasional times during the week. Duties will vary dependent on the applicant’s background but should include some dining out and entertainment, with some occasions including entertainment of an adult nature. This is not a position for a new husband or father for children, it is for a companion.

Requirements – Successful applicants should be able to carry on a conversation on a variety of topics besides just about himself. Interests should be of a nature of more than just Nascar and favorite flavor of beer and the original application should include more than a “hi, how are you?” statement. (Translation, intelligence and humor are required.) Also a picture of the applicant will be needed (and one will be given in exchange to keep a level playing field).

Disqualifications – Applications requesting porn watching will be immediately deleted. Applicant cannot be attached to a significant other. Applicants who think this is a wham bam thank you ma’am experience need not apply.

(Oh c’mon, you know this is basically how we all see this place, a lot like a job interview. There is the resume, the interview and then hopefully an offer and acceptance…)
———————————-

Almost instantly I have heard from two promising guys.  Guys who get the satirical nature of the profile and understand I’m not looking for the perfect long term relationship.  Sheesh who would have thought getting a guy interested in a casual relationship would be so damn hard.  Well I take it back, I do get lots of offers to watch porn and I’m not sure how I keep resisting such a delicious offer as that.   And I also turned down the one whose profile said he was looking for a sugarmomma (what possesses them to think someone is going to find that irrestible).  So of the two interesting guys, one is in the Dallas area which is doable and another is here in the city I work.  He and I share a similar taste in book reading so at least there are conversations that could be had. 

The next hitch is the ex is suppose to have the kids this weekend but has a “job” opportunity in Houston he wants to go to but he isn’t sure yet if he is (money of course being his issue).  And when I called him to get a firm answer, he is back into his wanting to chat and get my opinion (which he never listens to) which tells me that his relationship with Ju-Ju is rocky again.  Fine whatever but damnit, answer the question, will I have the kids this weekend or can I go out on a date?  And my advice was not to go to Houston.  It is another one of his opportunities to volunteer and maybe it will turn into a real Federal job.  Yeah been done that road before – sounds good and never turns into anything.  He just doesn’t learn.  Oh well not my problem.

Funny Facebook stalker

One of my Facebook “friends” is a woman I knew back in my elementary through high school years.  She got pregnant too young (come to think of it, I’m not sure she even graduated, she changed schools because of the shame) and has been through several marriages and divorces since.  One of her ex-husbands works where I do now.  She is constantly writing on her Facebook about her passion for her current husband and how he is the love of her life.  You know the kind, the ones who make love forever actually sound sickening. 

So I have noticed anything I do on Facebook, she has to do.  She joined a fan group for a comedian I like and then even posted on the same thread that I did.  Now she is playing the same games I play on Facebook.  How creepy is that??  It isn’t like we are close now by any stretch of the imagination.  Oh well.  I need to find something Facebook totally outrageous just to see if she follows me to that.

From the incredibly stupid files

Oh wait, I bet you know who this is about.

Last Friday late afternoon, he texted me wanting to know if I would switch weekends (the following day and Sunday) with the coming up weekend.  I had plans of things I was going to do that weekend – nothing of Earth-shattering importance, but still plans.  I texted back I could if I had to but that it would put me in a bind.  See, I knew he was trying to find someone to watch the kids so he and Ju-Ju could go to a wedding.  I wasn’t refusing to take my kids, because I won’t do that, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him.  3 texts later, he says never mind, he would keep the kids.

He decided not to get the kids on their birthday as it is so far (25 miles) to drive just to spend a couple of hours with them and wanted to have them for a few hours this Saturday.  I had said yes so I could spend the evening of their birthday with them myself.  So today he texts when can he have the kids tomorrow?  I said 12-4, which is 2 hours more than the court papers say he can have them for their birthday.  Oh, he wanted the morning hours.  Too bad, they have basketball games in the am. 

When he dropped off the kids Sunday night, I told him he had one week to get his stuff out of the garage.  He wanted to know if there was a reason and I said I was tired of storing his stuff.  So today he texts me that he has been sick and wants to know if he can have another week to get his stuff.  Here’s the deal.  When he moved out in JUNE 2007, he said he would have his stuff out of the garage soon.  As the months went by, he would come by and get the stuff he needed but left incredible amounts of junk in the garage.  I had it put in the divorce papers that he had 60 days from when the divorce was finalized to get his stuff or he forfeited rights to it (this includes the junk van sitting in my backyard).  Nothing.  Now honestly I don’t have stuff to store in the garage and I’m not in a personal hurry to clean it up since the mess is one he made, it is just the principle of it all.  Then this fall, when he split up with Ju-Ju, he wanted to store some stuff there that his father didn’t want at his house (where X was living at the time).  Of course once he got back with her, he didn’t come for his stuff because they don’t have a garage at her house (he was working with her husband to remodel it into a living room when he started his affair friendship with her).  So I have been after him yet again to get his stuff.

So I sent him a text message back.  1 – If you want a favor from me, have the courtesy to call me or see me.  I don’t have time all day to spend typing out text messages.  2-If you are too sick to get your stuff, perhaps you shouldn’t be getting the kids and risk getting them sick.

Asswipe.

Online dating

I have found I do much better with my profile if I don’t have  a picture and say that maybe all I really need is a good FWB.  Actually I think I need a good gay guy to hang out with. 

I really only want someone to help me fill in my kidless time.  During the time I have the kids, I don’t have time for a relationship.  I wouldn’t be good material.  I just need a regular guy to scratch my itch from time to time and someone who can help to entertain me and help me get out of my rut. 

You would think this would be easy.  You would think there are guys who would like this kind of arrangement.  Instead I get emails asking me if I want to get together to watch porn or if I want to model for them (hhhmmm, I do mention in my profile that I am a few pounds overweight!!).

All alone

The kids have gone to be with their dad for the week.  Well I do get to have them Christmas Eve because that is the day my family has our Christmas celebrations.  It has always worked well for everyone, Christmas Eve at my family’s and then Christmas Day with his.  So even in the divorce, we both get to spend quality time with the kids without a lot of debate.  I will get them that morning, we will come home and open presents and then go to my family’s for the day and then I will return them that night. 

The only thing is that I don’t know about letting them take their new Gameboys to his house.  They will want to because they say they are bored there.  But things have gotten stolen there and disappeared.  Plus there is the evil part of me that says they can bored there and make his life miserable, even though I realize that I’m not being fair to my kids.  But in truth it makes no sense for them to take their present from me (out of my hard earned money since I still haven’t seen any child support going on 3 months now) and then get a lot of gifts the next morning. 

I had to work yesterday but that wasn’t the end of the world.  I used it set up binders for the new year.  I’m so anal about these things, I love having a good template for my binder spines that have the company logo and look so organized.  Much like how I love that we have some of our low functioning students who come in for job skill training sorting paperclips so that my big paperclips aren’t mixed in with the larger paperclips.  This is actually good for them because they work on sorting things and then counting them into packaging. 

So today I have slept in, read part of my book, went shopping, made fudge, cleaned the kitchen and am doing laundry and watching a pay per view.  Yeah I really know how to spend my free time.

Doesn’t this just make your day

Yes I’m on Facebook.  And here is the notification I got.

In the past day you were compared 3 times. Your friends didn’t think that you are a winner comparing to their other friends.

Not exactly heartwarming.  Now I’m not surprised because I’m not the coolest kid on the block but it doesn’t do the ego much good.

History lesson

So what have we learned in 2 millennia?
 
“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”
Cicero – 55 BC
 
Evidently nothing.