Death always comes in three’s. At least in our family it does. We are all at the 2nd funeral, eyeballing the crowd, taking bets on who is the last one to go in this round.
Death #1 – Distant but I’m going to claim it because I need to make sure I have three to count. A distant cousin that my grandfather had great memories of being a kid around.
Death #2 – A former co-worker’s grown son was killed in a car wreck on Wednesday. His wife was driving recklessly (passing on the shoulder at high speeds), lost control of the car and hit an oncoming car. He is the only one who died. They have a 3 year old daughter who luckily was not with them at the time. How is my friend going to deal with her daughter-in-law, always knowing she was responsible for his death? How difficult will be as the wife goes on with her life, probably remarrying at some point in the future, for my friend to keep contact with the grandchild? I can’t go to the funeral because it is Monday, my first day at the new job. But this death is haunting me, a life cut short, a mother’s breaking heart.
Death #3 – My great-aunt, the last of my grandmother’s sisters to go. She is 91 and has late stage Alzheimer’s, so the passing is sad but time. I can deal with that. But I will go tonight with my Mom out to be with the family. This great-aunt (who has a beautifully unique name but I can’t use on here because it is so unique that if it was Googled, my family would find my blog instantly, something that is best avoided) never had kids of her own, so the neice and neice-in-law have been taking care of her, a task their mother had been doing before she died last year. I have a lot of great-aunts and uncles, more than most so I have a lot of funerals in the last few years and still to go. But I also have many memories of a great big extended family. You would think we were a big ethnic family, with how close we are, all the family gatherings we do. Sometimes family is a chore, but mostly it is a blessing. My X’s family was not very close at all, and one thing he told me is that he is grateful that the kids are learning about family through mine. I will not put them through this weekend as they don’t really remember this aunt before she went into the nursing home. They know I’m dealing with it and they understand that when my sister gets old, they will be expected to look after her since she has no kids of her own. Luckily my sister is much loved by the kids and is always there for them, on all of the occasions of their lives and sometimes just for kicks in between. I don’t think they will see my sister as a burden, but a part of being family. I hope they do, if I raise them right.
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